We are at WAR. The top brass seem to think this is an excuse to put other serious matters on hold. Well it shouldn’t be. Yes, we may be “sorting things out” thousands of miles away, but we should still continue to sort things out here. There is a problem that has been left unresolved, untouched, and unspoken about in parliament for many years.
In 1959, when Phillip Green, MP for Eltbeef, posed the question “Is it morally right to gun down innocent birds at airports?” he was laughed out of Commons’ big ugly gates. He then proceeded to climb back over them, and embarrassed because of what he had said, stole the transcript. He died two days later. Everyone forgot about him, and Eltbeef, which was tragically blown away by strong gusts in the summer of ’61.
Since 1959, the problem has escalated, but still it is ignored. Birds have a right to live, and a right to fly wherever they please. The laws of man do not apply to them, whether they are on the ground, or in the air. Or in the sea, for that matter (I am told on good authority that an increasing number of penguins are killed by naval submarine torpedoes each year).
Why are they gunned down? Well, there isn’t really any good answer to that question. The people of Deathrow, sorry, Heathrow airport claim it is because they could get caught up in the jet turbines. But how do we know that they will? All birds are executed instantly (without trial), and there have been no investigations into whether or not birds would get caught up in turbines had they been given the chance.
Opposing forces claim that when the airport was first invented, birds did get caught up in the primitive engines. But how do we know that birds today will or will not? Birds are smarter now. Birds may just be at the airport to eat, or go on holiday, not to get sucked into an engine. But alas, we’ll never know, until they stop gunning them down.
Ok, so what if I’m wrong? What if birds are just dumb winged creatures, that will be sucked into the nearest engine? Execution still isn’t the answer. There are alternatives.
For example, they could make bird-friendly engines, or wait until evolution takes its course and develops engine-friendly birds. They could tranquilize our flying friends, catch them when they fall, ship them to the isle of Sheppey and await their recovery. It would save money if birds were not shot at. No guns or ammo would have to be purchased. But will the Parliament fat cats listen? No, they’re too high class for birds. They like canned food, Kit-E-Kat, Sheeba, and their ilk.
Birds are beautiful creatures. You never know, they may be the lifeblood of this earth, and be crucial to our survival. If they are all eventually drawn to airports, perhaps attracted by WHSmith or Tie Rack, they will all die, the searing kiss of lead ravaging their plumage forever. They will be extinct, so their prey will be more fruitful. Vermin would plague the earth once again. The nation would be stumbling over discarded scraps of bread.
No one wants that. If the situation isn’t dealt with now, birds will be gone forever, and we’ll never be able to turn back the clock.
In 1959, when Phillip Green, MP for Eltbeef, posed the question “Is it morally right to gun down innocent birds at airports?” he was laughed out of Commons’ big ugly gates. He then proceeded to climb back over them, and embarrassed because of what he had said, stole the transcript. He died two days later. Everyone forgot about him, and Eltbeef, which was tragically blown away by strong gusts in the summer of ’61.
Since 1959, the problem has escalated, but still it is ignored. Birds have a right to live, and a right to fly wherever they please. The laws of man do not apply to them, whether they are on the ground, or in the air. Or in the sea, for that matter (I am told on good authority that an increasing number of penguins are killed by naval submarine torpedoes each year).
Why are they gunned down? Well, there isn’t really any good answer to that question. The people of Deathrow, sorry, Heathrow airport claim it is because they could get caught up in the jet turbines. But how do we know that they will? All birds are executed instantly (without trial), and there have been no investigations into whether or not birds would get caught up in turbines had they been given the chance.
Opposing forces claim that when the airport was first invented, birds did get caught up in the primitive engines. But how do we know that birds today will or will not? Birds are smarter now. Birds may just be at the airport to eat, or go on holiday, not to get sucked into an engine. But alas, we’ll never know, until they stop gunning them down.
Ok, so what if I’m wrong? What if birds are just dumb winged creatures, that will be sucked into the nearest engine? Execution still isn’t the answer. There are alternatives.
For example, they could make bird-friendly engines, or wait until evolution takes its course and develops engine-friendly birds. They could tranquilize our flying friends, catch them when they fall, ship them to the isle of Sheppey and await their recovery. It would save money if birds were not shot at. No guns or ammo would have to be purchased. But will the Parliament fat cats listen? No, they’re too high class for birds. They like canned food, Kit-E-Kat, Sheeba, and their ilk.
Birds are beautiful creatures. You never know, they may be the lifeblood of this earth, and be crucial to our survival. If they are all eventually drawn to airports, perhaps attracted by WHSmith or Tie Rack, they will all die, the searing kiss of lead ravaging their plumage forever. They will be extinct, so their prey will be more fruitful. Vermin would plague the earth once again. The nation would be stumbling over discarded scraps of bread.
No one wants that. If the situation isn’t dealt with now, birds will be gone forever, and we’ll never be able to turn back the clock.
-01/04/03
posted by Anonymous at 7:40 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home